scrabulous

about a month ago, i played some old-school scrabble with Drew at my kitchen table. it was late, and we were on a scrabble date, taking breaks to walk downstairs, change and fold our laundry. i’d been talking big about my scrabble game, and warning him that i’m pretty good at it, but also that i’m a sore loser. he too claimed to be good, and so we set a match for this particular night.

as we were loading our laundry into the machines pre-game, he asked me how i play scrabble. i was quick to tell him i play by the rules, which means if he lays down a word, and i don’t think it’s a word, i can challenge it. if it’s not a word, he takes his tiles back and loses his turn. and vice versa for me. i don’t really think of this as hard core, just the way a person plays the game.

we started our game, armed with a thick official scrabble player’s dictionary (OSPD) on the kitchen table. early into the game, i wanted to play the word ZEN, but didn’t know whether or not the OSPD would recognize it as a valid word, as it had the potential for being a proper noun or adjective. uncharacteristically, i asked Drew if he would challenge the word ZEN. he shrugged his shoulders, smiled and casually suggested i just play it, and that we’d look it up, and if it’s not a valid word, then i could take my tiles and make a new one. so i slowly made the simple word, we looked it up, and it was not legal, so i pulled my tiles back and made another play. no big deal.

a little later Drew was knee-deep in vowels and had all his tiles letterside-up on the table, where i could see them. together, we found a good play for the vowels, and he made it. we moved along like that for the rest of the night, taking breaks to fold laundry, to make more tea and to help each other. a really good date with a really good guy.

it was not playing by the rules; it was not playing as i ever play. but the scrappiest rules can change, relationships can change and thankfully, we can change. i’m scrappy and slow to learn this, but a small, soft side of me says it’s the most important win.